If I Can Do It, You Can Do It

It's hard to believe it's been about 1 year since the first seizure that landed me in the emergency department. This has definitely been one of the wildest years of my life! So many analogies are racing through my mind right now! I know this sounds like a cliche, but I truly mean it when I say, "It's as though my life literally was flipped upside down." You know how strange those fun-house mirrors are? Well, currently that is my life. How confusing, right?! Oy!

I thought I was completely fine. I was doing great physically, mentally, not so much. But I just thought it was a lack of sleep. I was attending all my doctor's appointments, eating right, exercising, doing everything "right". I remember having these seemingly "random" moments of panic where I felt like I was being transported. Minutes later, I'd wake up. It was so strange, none of it made sense to me, especially since it only happened for maybe a minute, if that. Sometimes I'd see random black lines or dots. I had become pretty forgetful, and concentration was really hard for me at one point. It got so bad that I was prescribed medication for ADHD. Which led me to eat healthier. But the panic still persisted at seemingly random moments, and so did the blacking out. I just assumed it was spiritual warfare because in my mind, I was doing everything "right". I prayed, others prayed. The panic and blacking out persisted. I even had a moment of clarity where I told God I thought something was physically wrong with my brain. But then minutes later, I decided I was just tired from working nights, lack of sleep, and juggling having a business, volunteering, and taking classes on top of working as a registered nurse in a psych hospital.

I ended up being diagnosed with Oligodendroglioma. The tumor was the size of the palm of my hand, located in both my frontal and temporal lobes, and spread over major arteries. After doing research and talking with my neurologist and my neuro-oncologists, I discovered the symptoms I was having were because of the tumor. Apparently, those moments of panic and blacking out were absence seizures. And if left unchecked, they get worse. That's exactly what happened; they got worse, landing me in the hospital on multiple occasions and requiring stitches. In nursing school, I remember briefly discussing what you do when a patient is having a tonic-clonic seizure. I always thought neurology, specifically brain science, was fascinating, but I often told myself it was too hard, so I really didn't learn much about it. Experiencing seizures and being diagnosed with a brain tumor definitely motivated me to learn. Now looking back, it's pretty ridiculous that I thought I was too dumb. I am currently back in school for my master's in nursing, with all As. I have won a prize at university-level science symposia. I also have two bachelor's degrees. One in biology, and one in nursing. Somehow, I convinced myself I couldn't do it. Then, weeks after having a craniotomy, I started learning so much about the brain. It's amazing how much you can accomplish when you decide you're not going to let anything stop you.

What is a dream or a passion you have, and you're letting insecurities stop you?

You don't want to have any regrets. If I can accomplish everything I've been able to while having a craniotomy, going through gene therapy, and recovering from other procedures all within months of each other, I know you can accomplish your goals. It will definitely be hard, but when you reach that dream, it will be so worth it.

The only way to guarantee failure is to give up. So don't quit. You got this! And if God's called you to it, he will provide EVERYTHING you need! You are not alone. I am wholeheartedly cheering you on along the way!